~luck wasn't always by your side~

blur.

i know this is not my problems.

but as a sister,

i really think i should help.

things become more complicated.

filling with all the feelings and emotions.

downhearted, disappointed, blaming each other.

its not the time to point to each other.

every single things really does happen for a reason.

its inevitable.

everyone deserves a second chance.

its the thing you need to shoulder,

without relying on anybody.

i am not blaming you for what you had done,

i know, you already put all your effort into it.

it just the luck wasn't be with you.

so, its the time for you to open up your eyes,

and prove to every one that you really can do it!

~should i or should not?~

i am in the middle of the intersection..

do not know where to turn to.

my mom kept urging me to pursue my master study.

its not only about the study things,

it will involving the money (fee), and commitment (time) as i have permanent job.

and too bad, i cannot skip my works.

there are only a few uni that offered the demand course on weekend.

and i think i didn't manage to take it on weekdays, night classes.

but, first thing first,

actually i have no idea about what course to be enrolled.

i really want to take MBA,

but it will mean nothing.

it will not be accredited in my current job.

i just think i want to try something new.

hehe.

if i accomplished my master study in any career related courses, my salary will be differ about 2++ or 3++.

i cant remember the exact amount.

but if it is not related courses, no addition.

it will be easier to study now as i am not attach to any commitment yet.

have to be more discipline on money saving, starting from now.

fee: a thousand per sem.

can i?

i dont know.

p/s : sebenarnye malas nak study lagi. ^_^

~smile~

tired.

my head is spinning around.

just got an email mentioned that meeting will be held on this coming wednesday.

the best part is i did not finish my work yet, which i need to present to the board on that day.

many things happened.

today marks the first day of sem 3.

jumble of feeling and thoughts.

even there are certain peoples who did not know how to treat me well, there are still fella that really make me smiles.

and most important, feeling appreciated.

i am sad too.

i can do nothing when they meet me, with sad look on their face, hoping that i would help.

i feel helpless.

i am sorry dear.
there was nothing i can do.

i already gave my very best to do everything that i can.

but, i am glad, they still remember me.

and its remind me that i am doing the right things.

~crumbling down~

"I know I can't take one more step towards you,

cause all that's waiting is regret.

and don't you know I am not your ghost anymore,

You lost the love i loved the most.

I learned to live half alive."

We need to realize that the deepest pain will eventually makes us even stronger.

No matter how crumble it was, it didn't kill us, right?

Life doesn't hurt until you think about how much things have changed,

who you've lost along the way,

and how much of it was your fault.

Leave and let it be.

Don't be the prisoner of the past.

You deserves to smile.

"Do you know what hurts most about a broken heart? Not being able to remember how you felt before. Try to keep that feeling because if it goes you’ll never get it back. Then you lay waste to the world and everything in it" (Cassie - Skins)

~don't be the prisoner of the past!~

“Don’t count what you lost, cherish what you have & plan what to gain because past never returns but future may fulfill the loss...”

do not look back.

move forward!

~work,work and work!~

monday already.

get back to work.

normal routine.

feel damn tired.

need massage.

all the workloads are already waiting.

but feel do not have the mood to start any.

need something that can trigger the mood.

yesterday i met him.

while waiting for him, he text, informed me he went to surau first.

after half an hour waiting, he came.

physical appearance, still the same.

but i think he changed a bit.

no more blonde, brown hair color.

a bit awkward at the early conversation, but its getting casual as time pass by.

ye la, its been a long time since we last met, almost 3 years.

he gave me souvenir from Bali.

really enjoy the day yesterday.

taking a walk down memory lane.

we are closed friends during the foundation study, but then we separated when we did our degree.

at first he was in statistic courses, but then, after few weeks he called me,asking me what courses am i rolling in.

to my surprise, he changed his course same with mine.

dunno what was in his mind.

after lunch, we went shopping.

feel glad that i am helping him in choosing his kemeja.

hehe. gile.

after shopping, went lepak2 again.

thanks for the Carl's Jr burger and secret recipe green tea ice blended.

till we met again dude.

:)

p/s: i think the reason im happy is because i already fixed my watch strap!

~gonna meet u!~

dunno why,

but i feel happy..

and looking forward to meet you.

ei, whats wrong?

just wait and look what will happen..

but, i feel guilty..

u bought me something when you were on trip last time.

but, i bought nothing for u..

i think i am gonna give my lovely panda bear that i used to hang inside my car.

they said, its more valuable and appreciable if we give something that we loved to others.

even i love that twin panda damn much.

but, its okay.

its nothing compared with our friendship ties.

friends are priceless rite?

so, i give u one for u to keep, and another one is mine.

plus, u r my four years best friend.

and still remember,

the first time we met.

:)

~ni hao ma?~

hehe..

shanghai, guangzhou,suzhou,wuxi!